(a friend of mine inspired me to write this..its that private part of my life that i think am ready to share with my readers, i want to inspire all that can relate)

I longed to see and hear your voice once in a while, because well, i had accepted the fact that i wasn’t able to spend time with you.. I just wanted you to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be fine, that you will be with me in it all.. i just wanted you to be there.. you made the calls alright.. but everyday they became less and more lesser and then one day i stopped receiving the calls. i didn’t hear your voice, that soothing voice that made feel like am on top of the world. I really thought i was the one to blame and asked myself questions only you could answer.. Why would you want to hurt me? Didn’t you love me? Was i not part of your lifetime plan?

Mum told me that you were on a trip(s) and so i kept wondering “why can we all go on those trips with you? Didn’t you have enough money to cater for all of us and if so mum would have chipped in too…………Then mum passed away and now i had no-one to ask about your whereabouts, i was just a little girl who needed her father.. but you were somewhere else trying to live your life, i really hoped that you’d show up even once and just give me a hug call me sweet names and make me forget that you were ever gone..

I was so bitter with you and i asked God everyday to give me the courage not to be like you, i asked God to help me be as strong as mum, because she was really something..I made a promise to myself that i would not let my kids suffer the way i did..i don’t want  them to grow up thinking all men are animals and that trusting them is a really huge mistake..At school i was taught that a daughter shouldn’t have to earn a father’s help or love, It should be unconditional!!! You say you’re my dad, but to me you ain’t nothing but the sperm donor

I know i forgave him for the past and we are at good place now…But to all the other daughters, sons that have gone through what i did, have no father when growing up because he was really busying doing other things i want to just encourage you be a better you and let not your past define your future.




2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. joddie
    May 12, 2016 @ 12:43:42

    God’s Grace does wonders.

    Liked by 1 person


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