Mathew 6:14-15  14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. 

For the longest time ever i have been the person that would not be able to forgive and all i did was hold on to grudges that didn’t even matter and i found myself getting hurt in the process because the more i didn’t the more i carried that baggage  of hate. Hate that made me want to kill you, Literally speaking but over the past months i have grown spiritually and i have learnt a few things about forgiving the godly way. I know its  not easy, truth be told i have hated and carried some grudges from when i was a kid and i had to live with people who hurt me but now that i am all grown i have come to understand that forgiving does not necessarily mean that things should go back to how the way they were before but forgiveness is more for you than for them. That’s where a lot of people get stuck. They think if they forgive it means they are saying that what the person did was okay. No, it really means freedom for YOU from the residual effects of the sin: nursing a grudge, resentment, bitterness, retaliation etc. You can forgive someone from your heart even if your emotional side doesn’t want to go along, especially at first. Sometimes the emotions follow but not always. Forgiveness basically releases you from your offense as far as you are concerned. They don’t owe you anything. Rather, you let that sin be between them and God. How is it possible to forgive? You might ask. But the easiest way I know of is to meditate on your own great need for forgiveness. Rather than compare yourself to the one who offended you, compare yourself to God’s righteousness where you will always come up short. “For all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment.” (Isaiah 64:6) God has forgiven us. Who are we to deny forgiveness to another?


Lets now talk about Forgiving but cutting ties. Some offense repeated over and over prompted your query. You feel at the end of your road and you want to cut all ties with the offender. Can you? This is not necessarily all-inclusive but I think there are definitely two times where cutting ties is appropriate. The first one is for safety or protection for yourself or someone you are responsible for. For instance, if a relative sexually abused you, you would definitely need to cut ties permanently. It is your responsibility to keep you safe. Or, what if a friend stole something while in your house? What if it happened every time they had access? This serious breech of trust calls for action to deny them any further opportunity. The other instance is not quite so clear-cut. It is the case where a relationship is so emotionally unhealthy it always gets the best of you. You fall into the same poisonous patterns over and over. You have the right to protect yourself from danger, whether physical or psychological. Forgiving someone has nothing to do with it. You can both forgive from your heart and then remove yourself from further offense. This may not be done as retaliation however. God knows your heart so there’s no use trying to fool him. Always forgive without limit because Jesus has forgiven you without limit. But when it comes to the company you keep remember this: “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (Proverbs 13:20)

Remember When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. And as my lovely godmother told me this morning when i asked her how one is able to pray for God to help you forgive, FORGIVENESS IS A MIRACLE THAT ONLY GOD CAN GRANT US.





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